You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I cockslap morals
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
