discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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