its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
