I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it was like eating out sand paper
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
