I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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