I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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