how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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