on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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