Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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