is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
