I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
