R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
