I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
