I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
