last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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