Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
