Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
