I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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