R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and she was petting her beer can
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
