You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
