My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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