I haven't been this sober since birth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
