matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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