Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
