Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
