Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
