No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
