just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
