that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
