Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
