My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
