I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
As shirtless as possible
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
