The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
