Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You smell like stripper and shame
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
