you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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