Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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