I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
