Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
