Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
