also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Life is so much better after having sex.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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