I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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