Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
