Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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