TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
