So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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