nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
