I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
