There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
