I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
