someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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