I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
