dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
