Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
